How to get really, really, REALLY dirty

Cash here.

Being a white horse is hard. It's easy to get sunburned, and the bugs seem to bother me more than the other horses. So I do my best foil both sunburn and bugs by being as dirty as possible. I thought I'd share my tips and trick with everyone so that they too can be as delightfully mud-covered as I am!

First off, the best time to get dirty is immediately after a bath. Mum doesn't think so, but when you're still damp, the dirt sticks much better and coats more evenly.

Next, it's very important to choose a spot with good dirt. You want it nice loose dirt, with no rocks in it. Little rocks are awfully lumpy, and besides that they don't stick well, even to a wet horse.  You also want to pick a spot near the middle of the field, since you definitely don't want to accidentally roll into a tree or a fence or anything.

In rolling, technique is everything. Flipping over is a must. Let me demonstrate:

 

Perfect rolling spot with loose dirt selected (notice how revoltingly clean I am in this picture). 

 

 

First off, grind the dirt into you neck and face.

 

Get up a bit of momentum...

 

... then flip to the other side.

 

Even though Saga is photobombing this pic, you can see the lovely spots on my belly. Aren't they handsome?

 

Be sure to wiggle around a lot on the other side too. This ensures an even coating.

 

Remember to sit up a bit so you can get dirt rub dirt onto your belly too. Notice in this picture that I haven't really gotten the first side all that well...

 

...so I have to flip back over to do it again.

 

Make sure to cover any spots that you might have missed on the first go. 

 

You might need to grind your mane into the dirt too. Mum especially loves it when I make mud dreadlocks. Those are her absolute favorite!

 

Remember, if you flail, you get more dirt on.

 

Gotta flip back over again to make sure the second side again. Always remember to do both sides evenly!

 

Grind in that last bit of dirt...

 

... and then it's time to get up for the finishing touch...

 

... a good shake! You want to get any loose bits off, 'cause they are kind of tickly.

 

See? It's hard to get dirtier than this (but note in the background that Saga's about to try).

 

Rolling is like peeing - it's contagious!

 

He's got a good mane-grinding technique...

 

But he can't quite get the full flip. Besides that, he's brown. Even if the dirt sticks, it won't be nearly as attractive as it is when it's on me. 

Being white does have its advantages, after all!