In which Paddy quite literally saves my life

Here’s the short version: We were attacked by an off-leash dog last night while riding alone on the trails. Paddington was absolutely amazing – he faced down a snapping, snarling, barking dog, didn’t bolt, and didn’t dump my ass in the dirt even when the dog attacked him. Even after the owner finally – FINALLY – got the dog under control, when he was trembling and on high alert, he stayed put and waited for me to catch my breath and talk to the dog owner. We’re both fine, the dog is fine, and I filed a police report. And my horse is absolutely worth his weight in gold.

Here’s the slightly longer version:

I’ve bitched before about off-leash dogs. Wyvern Oaks back to a greenbelt where we often go trail riding, or ride to a few grassy “arena” areas where we can work. We’ve encountered off-leash dogs before, and we have a pretty standard protocol – we keep the horses standing still, facing the dogs, ask the owner to get their dog, and if it escalates, yell “NO BAD DOG” at the dog until the owner can contain the dog. Two times we didn’t see the dogs coming and our horses were chased; both times we all managed to stay on despite some rather harrowing moments.

Last night, Paddy and I were walking home, and met up with a nice guy who told me his dog was up ahead. I pulled Paddy off to the side of the trail and faced the direction the guy had indicated. Sure enough, his dog came bouncing down the trail, and he called the dog to him. The dog started heading toward its owner… and then it noticed Paddy.

Then next 30 seconds are very much a blur. The dog approached, growled, and began to bark. I asked the guy to call off his dog, and to his credit, he tried. As the dog got closer and more serious about Paddy, I did my usual “NO BAD DOG” yelling at the dog. At this point the dog began circling us, trying to get behind Paddy. Dogs are what’s known as “brave cowards” and will often only go after a horse from behind, so I circled Paddy to keep him facing the dog. The dog got closer, and the barking and growling turned from half-hearted into full-on serious. Paddy kept circling, facing the dog. I want to say we made 4 or 5 complete circles… enough so that I started to wonder WTF the damn dog owner was doing, because the dog wasn’t playing any more. The dog finally managed to dart behind Paddy and went for his hind legs, mouth wide, teeth bared. Paddy swung his butt around at the last moment and we managed to face the dog again, and he lunged for Paddy’s nose. At this point I think I yelled something pretty rude to the dog owner (probably “Get your fucking dog off my horse!”) while still trying to maneuver poor Paddy, who at this point had had more than enough. Shortly after this, the guy got his hands on his dog, and pinned him to the ground.

The guy, to his credit, apologized profusely. He asked if we were OK – I couldn’t see any blood on Paddy, and I didn’t think the dog had made contact, so I said we were. Poor Paddy was trembling and wanted very much to leave the scene, and I scratched his withers and told him what an awesome amazing horse he was and what a good boy he was. Eventually the guy put a leash on his dog and headed off in the other direction, and we went home where I stuffed Paddy full of cookies and called the police to report the incident (interestingly enough, the officer who responded knew the dog and owner from the local dog park – said the guy was really nice and the dog was super well trained).

We’re dog owners, and I totally understand wanting to allow your dog to run free and get some energy out. But I am also a big fan of leashes and dog parks and exercising your dog properly and safely. Blogland knows how dangerous off-leash dogs are to horses – one of our own lost her heart horse all too soon. I also know I’m preaching to the choir here, so here’s what I’d like to ask each of you to do. If you have friends who allow their dogs off leash in a public area (not a dog park), ask them to reconsider. Tell them what can happen. It doesn’t have to be about dogs vs. horses, it could be a big dog vs. a smaller dog, dog vs. children, or elderly individual, whatever. Help get the message out. I want to believe that most dog owners are responsible people, they just don’t think that THEIR dog could possibly do that. But any dog can, given the right circumstances.

Be careful out there, y’all. Not every horse is like Paddy, who kept me safe.

He deserves ALL THE COOKIES. Yes he does. 

Tough love for a horsey friend

Recently, I’ve been interacting with a horsey friend of mine who doesn’t own a horse, but takes lessons pretty regularly. I’ve offered to let her ride several of mine (she’s a nice rider), but the ensuing drama surrounding Riding In General has really turned me off. I’ve tried to talk to her about some things that, IMHO, are really wrong with her barn and with her instructor. My friend defends the situation, even as she admits that there are problems. It’s like an abusive relationship – she won’t get out, but she won’t stand up for herself or what she knows to be right.

So I'm going to rant, because I am frustrated with the situation. I’m going to try writing this as a letter so I don't go too far off the deep end. You see, my friend reads this blog sometimes, so if she stumbles across this, I want her to know that I’m writing this because I care about her, because I know what it’s like to be poor but want to ride SO BAD that you can taste it, because I know what it’s like to see things happening around you that you don’t agree with but feel powerless to change. Maybe she’ll read this and think differently, maybe she'll never speak to me again, I don’t know. Maybe we've all been here?

So here goes.

Dear Friend,

First off: You are a very nice rider, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Sure, we all have things that we need to work on – I have been riding for an embarrassingly long time, and there’s a TON of bad habits I have that need to be fixed (check out my sexy “chicken elbows”). Even so, that doesn’t mean that anyone gets to tell me that “I suck” or “I need a lot of help” in a condescending, insulting way. Instructors do not get to yell or scream at me, unless it’s because I’m across the arena and won’t hear otherwise. I am a paying customer; I am taking lessons by my own free will. I expect to be treated with respect, and I expect constructive criticism about areas that I need to improve.   It is not worth any amount of money, under any circumstances, to be insulted and demeaned. You shouldn’t let it happen to you either. It’s undermining your self-confidence, and that’s just not OK. 

Secondly: There is no reason EVER to ride a lame horse, unless you are explicitly instructed to do so by a vet (e.g. working out a stiffness, rehab, etc). If the horse you are riding, who is normally a well-trained, reliable equine citizen, is stopping at fences, spooking, bolting, and spinning for “no reason,” your antennae should go up. EVEN MORE SO if you and your trainer KNOW the horse has had a history of undiagnosed lameness. Granted, the horse is not yours. I also realize that you may not know much about lameness or how to diagnose and treat it. But now is the time to educate yourself. Has the horse been x-rayed? Ultrasounded? Your trainer tells you that it’s been “seen by the vet and farrier and they can’t find anything wrong,” whatever that means. Well guess what, just because there’s no diagnosis doesn’t mean that there’s nothing wrong. A horse can’t speak for itself and tell you it hurts, it can only show you in ways it knows how, to avoid the pain. That’s why you’re seeing those behaviors. 

 If the horse is lame, DON’T RIDE IT. If your trainer tells you to ride it anyway, tell her you won’t, and insist on another mount. I realize that you feel like you have to ride whatever she gives you and you don’t have a choice, but you ALWAYS have a choice. It’s your money – don’t throw it away on rides on lame horses. You can choose not to ride, even if you really REALLY want to (and believe me, I get that). The horse’s welfare should always come first, and I frankly can’t believe that any reputable trainer would have someone riding a horse that’s not sound. That’s just not right. You should question why your trainer is allowing lame horses to be ridden. By continuing to ride the horse, you are condoning your trainer’s decision to allow a lame horse to be ridden. Just stop already, mmkay? There are other horses out there that are sound and happy in their jobs. You don’t have to be a party to making this one more uncomfortable than he already is.

Finally: In life, communication is key. If someone is not communicating with you, instead of getting mad, be the adult, pick up the phone, and give them a call. Straighten out the situation BEFORE it has a chance to blow itself out of proportion.  I realize that even with the best of communication, messages get crossed and not everybody’s understanding is the same, but if the drama is avoidable, DO something about it. Watching it unfold is not cool, and doing nothing – or even encouraging it - is worse. Why create drama for the sake of the drama when a short conversation will get everyone on the same page. 

And speaking of communication, honesty really is the best policy. Tell your trainer that you’re taking occasional dressage lessons. Tell her you might take someone else’s horse to a show. If you feel like you can’t tell her that, ask yourself why. IMHO, you should be able to take lessons with whomever you want, in whatever discipline you want. If you wanna go take lessons on a cutting horse, why would your regular trainer object? Time in the saddle is time in the saddle. Besides, you should be able to tell her what you learned while you were riding elsewhere. Maybe another instructor told you something that really clicked and helped improve something. That’s a good thing to be shared. If you have to keep it secret… again, ask yourself why, and if that’s really a situation you want to continue with long-term.

As your friend, I really want to be supportive of your riding. I’ve offered to let you ride my horses, hauled horses to lessons for you, and even offered to let you show. But I’m having a hard time when you say you want to do one thing with my horses, then, when your trainer crooks her finger, change plans on me at the last minute. I’m also having a really hard time with the secrets, and with the way your trainer treats both you and her horses.  Normally, I’d say it’s not my business how you interact with your trainer, but when you tell me about how badly things are going, I worry about you. It also becomes my business because when you ride or show my horses, I get caught in the middle of a situation I don’t want to be in. I don’t enjoy the drama even a tiny little bit.  So while I want to support you, I need a little commitment from you, a little communication, a little reassurance that I (and my horses) won’t be tossed over at the last moment. And that means that you need to stand up for what is right for you and the horses you ride, and you need to follow through with your commitments.

Let me know when you’re ready to do that, and I’ll still be here for you. Because I really do want to see you be successful – and most importantly, happy – with your riding.

PS. If you're wondering why I haven't sent my friend this letter, I have actually had all the conversations with her already, over IM or in person. This is just sort of the "wrapping up" of my thoughts.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? What did you do? How did it end?