Tuesday, January 12, 2016

3 problems with having a horsey husband

I realize that I'm lucky because my husband shares my passion for horses and riding. We love spending time with each other, and we love spending time with each other on horseback. However, while having a horsey spouse definitely has its advantages (i.e. we never have that discussion on "HOW much does this sport cost again?!?!), there are a few downsides that you might not have considered.

1. You have to buy a horse for him. Said horse might be more expensive and better trained than your own horse.
The Incomparable Brego

2. You're not the only one who wants fancy new tack. In fact, your husband might have his eye on this fancy Custom Saddlery monoflap, despite the fact that he already has three saddles. He also owns four bridles, including some fancy custom Portuguese jousting thing with cast brass bling. 

He wants one. I want one. Who will get one first? Obviously the CORRECT answer is that you each get the other one a saddle for your 10th anniversary. That seems fair, right?

3. He will borrow your horse, and look damn good doing it.

I mean, we get "cute pair" on dressage tests all the time, but HE has women falling all over him and Paddy at jousts, and I'm just "the squire". Not. Fair.

All joking aside, having both of us be horsey works out pretty well, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Our riding interests are different enough that we don't compete against each other, but we support each other at our respective competitions (my hubby is the best chai-maker, test caller, and cheering section a girl could ask for). We take lessons from the same trainer (we do not share lessons, DO NOT DO THAT) and we both love trail riding and foxhunting, so we do that together.  

Yes, he's reading Kottas on Dressage. This photo was not a setup, FYI.

Does your spouse/significant other ride? Do you wish they did, or are you content to have different hobbies?

47 comments:

  1. My hubby is a fair-weather rider.. he will hop on when the conditions are right, and really does enjoy riding, but often doesn't have time for it. He also doesn't have his own horse at this point, which doesn't help since Dino is not exactly appropriately-sized for him, though he does ride him quite well! The plan is to eventually get him his own steed, but ain't no way we can afford to board 2 at this point. We have fun doing the horse thing together, and he's a great horse show husband!

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    1. +1 million for a good horse show husband!

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  2. Kyle has sat on Houston in the past but having a 3yo isn't helpful. Honestly while I would love for Kyle to be interested in horses it's kind of nice that only one of us has a hobby that requires spending as much money as riding does. That's selfish but true.

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    1. Yes, I am aware that having two horsey people means that you don't get to spend all the money on stuff for your horse. Dangit.

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  3. Rob feeds Henry cookies like once a year. And sometimes doesn't freak out about it.

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  4. My hubby doesn't ride, and I like it that way. He golfs, so we each have an expensive hobby of our own (at least his golf clubs can live in the basement!)

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    1. Golf would be hard for me. I'd want to take my horse out and gallop on the greens, and somehow I don't think the golfers would take kindly to that!

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  5. My husband calls himself the World's Best Horse Holder/Photographer because that's the extent of his involvement. He sat on Mikey a couple times, and I gave him some lessons (he can post the trot!) but it's not what he likes. He'll probably never sit on Penn. He prefers to take the pictures and drive the rig!

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    1. Oh and trailer upgrader- he's super about that (as you've read)

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    2. Joseph is the same way. He likes being around them, and will hold/hand graze/tack up but is content to stay on the ground. He's great at taking pictures, and is a fantastic horse show boyfriend, but that's the extent of his involvement, and it works out well.

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    3. Trailer upgrader, rig driver, and horse holder are all really good things. Lucky you!

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    4. My husband can't take pics, that's his only downfall. :(

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  6. Tenth anniversary is definitely leather, I totally read that somewhere. :P

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    1. I am absolutely sure you're correct about this. Yep. Totally happening.

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  7. That picture is BRILLIANT. Reading Kottas? No wonder the ladies fall all over him, haha. And of course they fall on my Paddykins.

    My hubs is not horsey. I tell myself I'm independent and wouldn't want him to be, but I have no idea.

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    1. He actually BOUGHT that Kottas book after seeing the SRS morning exercises (he was in Vienna by himself and went without me, argh). It's a good book, if you don't have it.

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  8. Hahaha, you have a winner! Except when he steals your horse ;)

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  9. giving each other dressage saddles for your 10th anniversary?!? sooooo perfect :)

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    1. Yeah, we might need to win the lottery first.

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  10. Lauren is on point there, ha! Dang those horse thieves... Mine calls himself "Pit Crew" on the off chance I can get him to a show. He can now do basic things so it is better than nothing, though I have often wished for a horsey husband. You raise three very good points though for not having one... :)

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    1. Horsey husbands can be nice, but they do come with a few drawbacks.

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  11. I've seen my husband on a horse all of 3 times since I've known him (9 years). However, he's as supportive as he can be within our budget, but doesn't quite understand some of the stuff (like wanting to take lessons again even though I've been riding for over 20 years now, etc)

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    1. Haha, mine used to question me taking lessons and now he's like "can we get two lessons in this week?"

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  12. I wish my boyfriend were just a little more supportive of the horse thing, and coming from a dressage-y mother in law I really feel like HE SHOULD BE. Oh well... at least I scored with the MIL!

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    1. Probably he's so used to his mother being horse crazy, he's trying to pretend like it's not happening with his fiance. Denial is a powerful thing. ;)

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  13. My husband wants to go foxhunting, and would love to learn to jump and do eventing. Buuuuut... he's a surgeon and has no time and cannot break his expensive ensured hands. You know what horses do? They break shit.

    I settle for photo/video person at shows and paying him in an absurd amount of ice cream to photo/video every once in awhile at the farm.

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    1. Foxhunting, eh? I can set him up. Total enabler here, no guilt!

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  14. My husband rides. His horse has been injured for months so he hasn't made many recent appearances in my blog so it might seem like he doesn't ride or only rides casually, but he's normally an active rider in his own right. I enjoy sharing the hobby with him. I think I'd be lonely without him. Or maybe I'd just have to move to a proper showing barn so I could be around other riders. The expenses do add up though. 3 horses is more than 2 horses and a 4th horse is really going to hurt. Thankfully, he's not very interested in tack and is baffled as to why I am. Of course, I often purchase tack for his horse, so I don't even know if his not caring saves us much. While he does a decent job of keeping me from spending us into the poor house, I think he's probably more okay with horse expenses than a non horsey husband would be because he sees how he could also benefit.

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    1. Hah... the joke around our house if the hubby goes to Dover is to make sure to take all his credit cards. That man is DANGEROUS in a tack store!

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  15. I wish my SO rode, or had some interest in the sport, but the other hand it is kind of nice not having to share tack, horse, trailer time, etc! He had another expensive hobby, so we both just kind of have a "you don't ask, I won't ask" on costs!

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    1. There are definitely pluses and minuses to both having the same expensive hobby!

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  16. My husband looked at me one day about 3 months after I had bought Gemmie and said "So when are you getting me a halflinger so I can see you again?" The next day Pete came to live with us. Before our son came along we would trail ride all the time and I loved it. He knew how to pace well, the horses got along great and we just had a lot of fun. Now with the kiddo here we haven't been able to ride much together and I do miss it.

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    1. Aww, that's awesome! I hope you're able to find some time to ride together soon. :)

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  17. I wish I had a significant other that rode a bit... but not competitively, probably. Just enough to understand why I love it so, and to be willing to go on trail rides with me.

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    1. That's how it starts, with trail rides. Then they want to go faster than a walk. Then they decide that cantering is fun but maybe they need to learn how to do it better, so they take some lessons. They they decide that jeans chafe so they need some breeches. Then boots. Then lessons are going great and they start jumping, and the next thing you know they want their own horse...

      It's a slippery slope, I tell you!

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  18. My husband rides and I usually love it! The only issue being if there is a difference in opinion...and since he actually knows what he is talking about then that makes it even harder.

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    1. Haha, yup! There are definitely challenges!

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  19. My fiance wants to learn to ride, although finding time in a student nurse's schedule is hard!

    He's been interested in endurance ever since he watched Hidalgo, and I think he'd be pretty good at it, and I'd love to crew. And he'd be adorable in an Arabian native costume class since he's part Lebanese and looks great in flowing headwear.

    Right now he does a great job cheering me on in my jumping lessons. ("That's great, honey, you didn't look scared at all that time!")

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    1. Ooh, having a cheering section is always good!

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  20. Oh, wow... I never even realised! I see your point!!!

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    1. These are definitely things one must consider carefully! ;)

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  21. My spouse does not ride and I'm (mostly) OK with that. It means that we're not spending a ton of money on multiple horses or tack and that my bumper-pull trailer works just fine with my Chevy Silverado ;-)

    I do wish she understood where my passion comes from, but I'm OK with this being one thing that she just "doesn't get". She respects it, and that's what I *need*. And besides, I've got amazing war wyves and event husbands that step in as needed when I travel to horse things, so I'm not lacking in that aspect. ;-)

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    1. Oh, I definitely understand wanting to share the fun that is horses, but it's a slippery slope between sharing the fun and having to get two (or more!) of everything! ;)

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