Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Weird things non-horse people say

Twice a year, we have a party at our house for my husband's grad students and their significant others/friends/whoever wants free food. One of the highlights of the party is when we all go out to the barn and let folks pet the horses and give them treats (note, this is also Paddy's favorite part, because in addition to getting ALL THE TREATS, people are usually holding beer bottles and he likes to lick them). It's often many people's first time being really close to a horse, and everyone always has lots of questions and comments:

Them, when they meet Paddy for the first time: "Oh My God HE'S SO BIG!!!!"
Me: "Yup, all 14.3 hands of him. He's huge."

I think the floofy forelock makes him look bigger.

Them: "Do you ride Western?" (Obviously we must do this because we live in Texas)
Me: "No, dressage actually."
Them: *puzzled look*
Me: "That fancy prancing thing that Stephen Colbert did a couple of years ago."
Them: "OHHHHHH!"

Image result for stephen colbert fancy prancing

Them: "What kind of horse is he?"
Me: "He's a Haflinger."
Them: "Oh, because he's half one color and half another color!"
Me: "..."

To be fair, I can see their point...

Them, offering Paddy a treat: "Will he bite me?"
Me: "Probably not."
Them: "OH MY GOD ARE YOU SURE?"
Me: "Well, he's got teeth, so it's possible."
Note that Paddy's never bitten anyone. Yet.

Them: "Can I ride him?"
Me: "No, it's past his bedtime."
(Seriously. They believe this.)

And one does not want to interrupt a Nappink Haffie.

And my personal favorite:

Them: "Does it hurt when you get hit while jousting?"
Husband: "Here, put this armor on and let me show you..."
(Whack-a-grad-student is basically the most fun a professor gets to have all year!)

What's your favorite weird thing a non-horse person has ever said to you?

43 comments:

  1. Love this! Favorite non-horse person question: do the girl horses have bangs and the boy horses don't? Haha

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    1. HAHA omg.

      this might need to be a blog hop.

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    2. Dooo eeet! I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had weird comments from non-horse-people!

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  2. lol whack a grad student. Nice I think I might use the past his bedtime excuse in the future.

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    1. It's kind of funny that people actually believe the bedtime thing!

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  3. We had thanksgiving with my sister and her in laws and her mother in law asked me if I was good at riding horses.

    Only something a non rider would ask.

    I finally said "Well I don't fall off very often but I'm not going to the Olympics either."

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  4. I told one lady that a horse was a flea-bitten grey and she said "Oh my god those are FLEA BITES!" .... sigh

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  5. LOL, awesome!

    I totally get the blank looks when I say I ride dressage.

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    1. Right? I mean, how do you describe dressage? "I go in circles a lot".... yeah. Boring AF.

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  6. i excellent! i love the questions like, 'doesn't riding give you bowed legs?' too

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  7. Replies
    1. I once told someone that it depended on how long they were going to tease Paddy by waving that treat around...

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  8. Replies
    1. Whacking the grad students is the best.

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  9. I personally love the "can I ride your horse?" question. I usually ask if I can sleep with their spouse/wife/partner/SO in response.

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  10. Hahaha love it. The jousting question is totally fair though.

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    1. Oh for sure! And no, it doesn't hurt... that's what armor is for.

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  11. the past his bedtime thing is brilliant. does that really work on adults??

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  12. I passed a kid hiking in the park once who asked, what is that? Her dad told her it was a horse and she said "I've never seen a horse before." She was like 8. What the hell. Don't kids at least see horses on TV/movies enough to recognize one?

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  13. I definitely had some professors who wished they could have played whack-a-grad-student with me.

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    Replies
    1. It's really quite fun. And satisfying. But only if they're wearing armor...

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  14. It's past his bedtime... I snorted for sure

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    Replies
    1. I try really hard to keep a straight face when I say that.

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    2. When they ask my 13 year old if they can ride her horse she answers "I am 13, don't have a license and have never driven a car. Can I take your car for a spin?" Lol

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  15. Too funny - although I might ask about jousting/armour as well!

    My nephew was playing bagpipes at our house once. The horses were freaking out and my mother-in-law said "oh, look at the horses, they're dancing to the music!" hahaha

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    1. Oyyyy.... yeah. Dancing. Sure they are.

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  16. Haha!

    My favorite is people asking why I have blinded my horses (fly masks).

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    1. I've actually had the police show up because someone had called the SPCA to report us for blinding our horses. Sigh...

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  17. I've been asked if I've been riding my new horse much, when I've just finished saying that she was 2yo.

    When I explained that she wasn't old enough and hadn't been trained to be ridden yet, they looked so confused and asked what I meant by 'trained to be ridden'.

    I explained that I was training her to respond to the reins by teaching her to ground-drive, where you walk behind the horse. They looked horrified and asked if that was really dangerous! Hahaha... what with horses is not dangerous?

    Ooh, and the other one I get when I say that I ride endurance is being asked if I get a sore butt - they must think you get to sit on your butt the whole way!

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  18. "Why do you still take lessons? Don't you know how to ride yet?"

    "You went behind him! Is that dangerous?!?" My aunt while I was grooming my gelding.. I explained that most of the time if they know you are there it's fine, but that yes, she and my cousins shouldn't go behind him. Lol

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  19. I'd probably go to grad school just to have a year end snuggle with Paddykins

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