Eyes on stalks.
When you try to ride in warmup:
Horse looks amazing. Rider looks like WTF.
When you try to ride a stretchy trot circle:
I'm sure that's exactly what the judge is looking for.
Hard cider totally counts as a serving of fruit.
When you try to do canter depart at C:
Tail swish. Note judge's expression.
When you try to get your horse to pose cutely after a very long show weekend:
Give me the damn carrot and I promise not to hurt anyone. Much.
No I will not put my ears forward for your stupid pic. Also get these ribbons off my face.